i surrender...

Foods, liquors, family, relatives, and friends – these were my company in welcoming year 2008. A memorable and life – changing experience I wouldn’t forget.

I was an alcohol drinker and found it as part of growing up – for fun, bonding with friends, and even for menstrual purposes. I didn’t find myself different from any other girls around for I always bring the connotation that girls do drink also. That was my thinking, I’d rather drink than smoke.

But on that very day, in welcoming this year, I find my indifference among others. Getting drunk, real drunk was really painful – literally PAINFUL. I’ve realized how true it was that once you get drunk, put it in your stomach, not in your head because once you put it both, when they collide, you tend to be emotional.

And that’s what happened to me. I had the guts to express everything. The pain that I carry for so many years was revealed. My hatred, anger for my family was expressed by my mind full of alcohol. I know I’ve hurt them the way I was hurt by the situation. My uncles cried, my sisters were worried and most of all, my mother cried from the heart. I can really feel how hurt she was, and I can no longer get back the words I’ve thrown at her.

From a couple of shots of alcohol turned into a life changing experience for me. I felt tired, weary, exhausted, dehydrated. And then I came across with God. He knows everything about me. At the time I was weak and tired, He gave me strength and rest.

The word surrender sparked from my thoughts. Indeed in need to follow my family and their decision to leave from the boarding house. Little did I know, I’m also leaving my drinking habit behind. I didn’t make any appeal for I know God knows what is best for me. (january 01,2008)