it is called life
My life before was not perfect at all. I guess there is no perfect life anyway here on earth. I was raised in a family who values the relationship of its every member. I thought I had a perfect family, with my parents, my elder sister; not to mention my supportive grandparents and uncles. But those wonderful thoughts have gone when my parents got separated. There were lots of ups and downs in our family.
The income of my mother did not turn out well. We usually get what we want before but those times were one of the difficult situations that my family had experienced. Well then, life must go on instead of living in a miserable memory I wouldn’t want to remember. I am the second child in the family. We were not raised who attending church every Sunday-we were not church-goers at all, not unless there is an occasion. But it changed during my elementary and high school life.
I had an opportunity to be involved in our school’s activity, not just for extra-curricular ones but also in joining Sunday Mass held in our school. My life then was fun! I got the chance to have many friends in school and of course enemies-those who were envious of me: someone who can dance, sing, and speak within the school community, someone who’s on the top section! Sounds boastful? Yeah I can just my head getting bigger and bigger. I thought that was the perfect part of my life! My high school life! Then I realized that college life was far different from high school life. It was the real-time action life. It was the time when I could really use my freedom of choice, my decisions in life.
I had serious circumstances then – family, studies, friends, and not to include the boys I got linked with during those years. It wasn’t that perfect at all. But I was enjoying my college life. I was studying for free! Not to mention that I am investing time and energy and relationship with my friends in Dance Troupe that I was in. My inspiration was my mother. I always go to school having my principle that if it wasn’t for my mother, I wouldn’t enjoy the benefits of being a scholar. I wouldn’t enjoy the privileges that a normal student could possibly have. The attitude of being ambitious for me is good, but being too ambitious? I had that before. Being famous in my college department, in the university, wasn’t a smooth sailing ride. It was actually a rollercoaster one! I was not able to escape with the influence of people around me. I learned how to drink alcohol.
I experienced to get drunk, not just once but several times. I got linked with boys who I thought could love me the way I wanted them to love me. It was not a healthy life before. That was the time when I realized what’s happening to me? I wasn’t supposed to live like this. Abusing my ability to decide for my own? The times given to me enjoy life with friends who could influence me in a good way? But I didn’t. I chose to live a life with people who I thought could be my best buddies at all!
My decision leads me to destroy my life, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am heading in the wrong direction. My 2007 experiences made me realize the consequences of my decision. Decisions which I thought were good. Decisions which I thought I could handle its consequences. No. I was wrong. I was living a life that was destructive that I could almost end my life without telling people “hey! I am broken! Can anyone fix me?” Was it too dramatic? But it happened. It was the time when I can no longer hear myself. That the only thing I could remember was that there is no hope for a person like me. But the Lord is good-all the time. It was January 2008 when I was delivered from those desperations that I had. I came to know Christ from a person whom I barely even know.
One afternoon, it was the time that couldn’t take hold of all the lies I was living with. I said I’m done. This person did say something about Jesus Christ - that this Christ loves me. I just couldn’t stop pretending that I was strong enough not to let go of the baggage that I carried that time. I thought that was the time I have to turn away from living a desperate life. I was then given a hope that I could still go on with my life that wasn’t mine at all. I heard that if I just surrendered everything with the Lord, I will be forgiven; I will be restored, that I will be given a new life! Not to mention the “house and lot” that I could own in heaven. Without any regrets, I just surrendered my life to Christ. I let Christ to take control of my life. I wanted to experience a life living to glorify the Lord.
I wanted that happiness! I wanted that joy! I wanted a life that is free from guilt because I know that the Lord loves me and that He will forgive me. It was then, as I must say the perfect time of my life – to come to God humbly, confessing everything that hinders me to experience Him. Since then I did not let go of God’s hands. I am still capable of having sins, but I know that I can come directly to the Lord to ask His forgiveness because I accepted Christ to take control of my life. I am enjoying God’s promises to me.
I am enjoying a life that He has given me- a new creation, a new Emk. In my two years with the Lord, He had always been faithful to me. I might still be stubborn at times but His love is more stubborn! Because if it wasn’t His love, I don’t know at what state, situation I right now. That is why I am giving back all to Him.
I enjoy serving the Lord through the talent He has given me. God’s love for us is something that we could experience differently, a genuine joy that we could ever imagine! To God be the glory! ( July 25, 2010)
The income of my mother did not turn out well. We usually get what we want before but those times were one of the difficult situations that my family had experienced. Well then, life must go on instead of living in a miserable memory I wouldn’t want to remember. I am the second child in the family. We were not raised who attending church every Sunday-we were not church-goers at all, not unless there is an occasion. But it changed during my elementary and high school life.
I had an opportunity to be involved in our school’s activity, not just for extra-curricular ones but also in joining Sunday Mass held in our school. My life then was fun! I got the chance to have many friends in school and of course enemies-those who were envious of me: someone who can dance, sing, and speak within the school community, someone who’s on the top section! Sounds boastful? Yeah I can just my head getting bigger and bigger. I thought that was the perfect part of my life! My high school life! Then I realized that college life was far different from high school life. It was the real-time action life. It was the time when I could really use my freedom of choice, my decisions in life.
I had serious circumstances then – family, studies, friends, and not to include the boys I got linked with during those years. It wasn’t that perfect at all. But I was enjoying my college life. I was studying for free! Not to mention that I am investing time and energy and relationship with my friends in Dance Troupe that I was in. My inspiration was my mother. I always go to school having my principle that if it wasn’t for my mother, I wouldn’t enjoy the benefits of being a scholar. I wouldn’t enjoy the privileges that a normal student could possibly have. The attitude of being ambitious for me is good, but being too ambitious? I had that before. Being famous in my college department, in the university, wasn’t a smooth sailing ride. It was actually a rollercoaster one! I was not able to escape with the influence of people around me. I learned how to drink alcohol.
I experienced to get drunk, not just once but several times. I got linked with boys who I thought could love me the way I wanted them to love me. It was not a healthy life before. That was the time when I realized what’s happening to me? I wasn’t supposed to live like this. Abusing my ability to decide for my own? The times given to me enjoy life with friends who could influence me in a good way? But I didn’t. I chose to live a life with people who I thought could be my best buddies at all!
My decision leads me to destroy my life, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am heading in the wrong direction. My 2007 experiences made me realize the consequences of my decision. Decisions which I thought were good. Decisions which I thought I could handle its consequences. No. I was wrong. I was living a life that was destructive that I could almost end my life without telling people “hey! I am broken! Can anyone fix me?” Was it too dramatic? But it happened. It was the time when I can no longer hear myself. That the only thing I could remember was that there is no hope for a person like me. But the Lord is good-all the time. It was January 2008 when I was delivered from those desperations that I had. I came to know Christ from a person whom I barely even know.
One afternoon, it was the time that couldn’t take hold of all the lies I was living with. I said I’m done. This person did say something about Jesus Christ - that this Christ loves me. I just couldn’t stop pretending that I was strong enough not to let go of the baggage that I carried that time. I thought that was the time I have to turn away from living a desperate life. I was then given a hope that I could still go on with my life that wasn’t mine at all. I heard that if I just surrendered everything with the Lord, I will be forgiven; I will be restored, that I will be given a new life! Not to mention the “house and lot” that I could own in heaven. Without any regrets, I just surrendered my life to Christ. I let Christ to take control of my life. I wanted to experience a life living to glorify the Lord.
I wanted that happiness! I wanted that joy! I wanted a life that is free from guilt because I know that the Lord loves me and that He will forgive me. It was then, as I must say the perfect time of my life – to come to God humbly, confessing everything that hinders me to experience Him. Since then I did not let go of God’s hands. I am still capable of having sins, but I know that I can come directly to the Lord to ask His forgiveness because I accepted Christ to take control of my life. I am enjoying God’s promises to me.
I am enjoying a life that He has given me- a new creation, a new Emk. In my two years with the Lord, He had always been faithful to me. I might still be stubborn at times but His love is more stubborn! Because if it wasn’t His love, I don’t know at what state, situation I right now. That is why I am giving back all to Him.
I enjoy serving the Lord through the talent He has given me. God’s love for us is something that we could experience differently, a genuine joy that we could ever imagine! To God be the glory! ( July 25, 2010)
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