A Perfect Timing

Sunday: December 26, 2010

My boyfriend and I, together with some dear friends of us were at the mall when he showed me about the text message that he received from his ex girlfriend. She wants us to visit her at their place in Bulacan. But, the time didn’t permit us to go.

It was a sudden excitement within me after hearing that invitation.  What an early answered prayer Lord!!

Earlier at the church, our pastor had a challenge for us to GIVE UP OUR GRUDGES THROUGH FORGIVENESS. He told us to stand up if we want to have that commitment to give up our grievances towards people who had hurt us or the other way around.  I stood up while silently praying this prayer about my boyfriend’s ex girlfriend. I prayed that in His time, we will meet again not to talk about the same man we are in love with, but to have a closure, forgiveness and reconciliation.

She was the one of the people I consider I’m having grudges with.

As I’ve learned: GRUDGES is a SELF-DESTRUCTION; GRUDGES destroy MARRIAGE! Of course, I’m not yet at that point of getting married (just considering the fact about grudges, who would have wanted to have an unhappy marriage?)

There it was! I just stood up and prayed for her and for some people I don’t need to mention.

Going back at the mall, I had a change of mood, in addition of having my period! Yet at the back of my mind, how I wish come to her invitation for us, but we were already physically tired.

We went home. I was hoping that we could still have time to visit her in some other days.

I was not expecting anything. I prayed, and had a good night sleep.

Monday: December 27, 2010

Still having the thoughts I had last night, I think it will be a good start of the day to consider about the invitation.  Dinner time with my boyfriend’s ex girlfriend and her current boyfriend.

We left the busy place of Manila around 7:30 in the evening. Riding in a non-air conditioned but COOL-AIRED bus (due to natural air from the outside).

My boyfriend and I were a bit different.

” WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND? “I asked him. He said he was sleepy and he just prayed. I told him, “Yeah, I prayed too.”

There was silence between us along the travel.  From the busy noise of Manila, buzzing of the vehicles, noise of the passengers talking about their own personal businesses. It was a SILENT time between us.

As we got off from the bus, we ride on a tricycle. He knew what place to go to . I told him “You know the place pretty much, huh?”  It was not sarcastic. I was not sarcastic.

Reaching the place, he saw the dog that he gave to her. The dog’s name is COCO... coco? Coco Crunch?

The dog was busy eating at one corner of the lot. My boyfriend kept calling the dog’s name until it went near to us (mind you, I’m afraid of dogs). Did I get jealous because of the dog? Not so.

We entered the house, she greeted us. I waved my hand in response. We sat down and she introduced to us her boyfriend, Mark (by the way, her name is Andrea)

AWKWARD feeling? Definitely!

We ate dinner at same table. Facing her was not so intense or kind of nervous; casual.

I can see my boyfriend’s attitude being so comfortable inside the house. It was supposed to be “their” house. Did I get jealous of that? Not so.

I carefully get a glimpse from my boyfriend’s eyes. HE MISSED HER EX GIRL FRIEND. I knew it. I knew those looks, those stares secretly, those smiles for her. Did I get jealous of that? Not so.

After our dinner, she said to have our photo taken. Sort of a documentary stuff.  I said it was my idea too.

Pose here and there, smile here and there. Wacky shots! (check out our facebook site)

Then, bye bye time!

They accompanied us outside the village to have a tricycle.

One tricycle came after some who rejected us.

Bye bye time: shake hands. Then a hug. I told her she can now be my friend at Facebook!

WHAT DID I GET FROM THIS EXPERIENCE?

First, I got an answered prayer! My boyfriend was thanking me for that time because I was part of that experience. I accepted the invitation for the sake of having a closure between the four of us. I learned that God really loves me not because of an immediate answered prayer but because He allowed me to have that time for me to GIVE UP MY GRUDGES TOWARD ANDREA.  That experience leads me to HEALING.

I was healed from the grudges I have for her. Of course I am not that bad to hate her, I know God does not like me to put on my super power costume trying cover up the anger I have for her. I know and acknowledge that she’s my sister in Christ too, so why take care of my grudges like a baby? Grudges that will eventually grow and eats me up!

The Lord helped me out with this experience.  I only asked for a forgiving heart yet He gave me pasta!! (That’s what Andrea cooked for us-carbonara-coco’s favorite)

I prayed this exact words: “Lord, please help me and teach me say the right words…uhm..not nice words but right words” Right vs nice words? For me saying right words in whatever manner you want to say it would still be right IF and only YOU really MEAN what you say for the benefit of building or having GOOD response to others. On the other hand, nice words are NICE WORDS! It would not be called UGLY words if you what you mean are NICE things yet at the back of those nice and catching words are LIES. People often love to say nice words for the sake of making the other person looks good and feels good BUT, those were just lies. (This is just my opinion anyway, don’t be too serious about that, you have your own opinions too)

I know I said the right words while we were there.

I asked my boyfriend if he missed the dog. He answered YES.

I asked him again what about the owner? He answered, YES, HE MISSED THE DOG.

Oh c’mon, why not tell me YES, I MISSED HER TOO.

If I was in his shoes, I would definitely feel some kind of “I Miss You” effect!

I confronted him to tell me if he missed her, I would just answer OK.

Did I get jealous of that? Not at all.

I even told him how he looked at her.

I would lie if I will not say I feel awkward at the beginning. But after some jokes and laugh, my “inner me” attitude came out. It’s as if my heart melted. 

I learned to be humble and face the person I have grudges with.

I learned to trust my boyfriend DESPITE of the ALL the FALSE ACCUSATIONS AGAINST ME. For I know I'm blessed to have people that surrounds US who believes in US. 

I  am happy with this experience. It was a tough one to face someone you wouldn’t want to meet. But God is so gracious and helpful to me. Giving my the guts and courage to face her. Being with my boyfriend was not my key to give up the grudges I have. But it was God’s loving heart that helped me get through with this.

I hope and I pray that we can build good friendship towards one another. That they may live happily having God as their third party, and so are we.