happyemk

one of the craziest I've ever done in my life and oopss...I did it again.. Would you ever wanted to be talk about by people around you? Would you ever wanted to be the topic of others' conversation? waahhh...me? I don't want.. ^.^ but yes it happened again...

Looking for a job is not always an easy thing to do. First thing that you must possess is the determination to get in a company you want to apply for. You also feel different feeling while applying for a job. Some are nervous, some are confident and excited, and sometimes others just quit when not getting what they want. I'm one of those who were confident and nervous. April one, first day of the fourth month. It was a nerve-wracking day for me. I don't know what to expect, what lies ahead of me as I applied for a job. I must not expect something, for they say, expect the unexpected. I had my daily devotion and daily quiet time with the Lord. I prayed for that day, for my safe travel, for my agenda for the day. I really don't know what to expect, as I lay everything to God, He's in control of me. I just have the encouragement and prayers from some friends who believed in my capability as a person. To my surprised, I saw a person that I must not see on that day. Th...

The church I'm attending had a family retreat. I registered and joined the retreat. It was an overwhelming experience to be with people I barely even know. There were color groupings and other activities to be done as a group. As part of the group agenda, we need to present a skit. My heart beats fast when I heard I'll play the wife of the lead actor. I'm not good in acting, I always say that to anyone. My acting is not convincing. I would rather dance than to act, but I'd rather dance alone than to dance by group ONLY during that time because doing a choreography isn't a joke. But dancing was erased from the script so we'll stick to the skit alone. A humid yet windy afternoon when we rehearsed under the tree. I felt nervous, and shy – some of my characteristics (I wonder why I became a Communications student). But I get along with my other group mates or so called 'skit-ers'. I feel at ease with them. The only problem I worried about was the deliv...

Moving can be done easily, yet learning? a continuous process for rediscovery – as a person whose been hurt, ignored, abused, rejected and perhaps destroyed by unwanted sad memories from the past. Moving can be done as an excuse to cover up pain yet at the end of the road, you will see and find yourself naked – naked from memories of the past you’re trying to escape with. But try to look at the other path of your journey, you’ll find inner peace, inner happiness and the inner meaning of moving. You learned from your mistakes and just admitted it undoubtedly. Learning as a process must be done at your own will, at your own risks. You, yourself is the captain of your own ship. You keep sailing from a broad, immeasurable experience of life that’s why you sail the most out of it until you reached your destination and learned from your journey.You, yourself is just a worker. Your assigned tasks as a captain is just temporary, nothing far more different from worldly place we lived in. Y...

January 18, 2008, its a date I will never forget. Its the day when it seems that everything falls into pieces and places. An unsettled issue was burning on fire that I could feel the heat, the pain, and hatred of a close friend towards me. I can feel the pain yet I couldn't speak, only to end up our conversation with "hindi ko na kailangan i-defend ang sarili ko" ("i don't need to defend myself anymore"). I know I caused her the pain, in addition to the that statement which I myself doesn't want to tell her. My heart was bursting from pain, and guilt. I stand with my false statements leaving those words made form lie. After the confrontation, I know I really made a mistake. I couldn't take it back instead I must prepare myself for its consequences. I couldn't take the burden that I feel that time. Sometimes, you need to shut your mouth for you to function well. It was not just a simple argument. It means a lot. Its a serious problem I need t...

What is one thing that differs us from God? Its something that we have which are plenty yet God does not. I believed and I think you too will agree with that, right? This blog has something to do with myself as an individual, as a child of God. At the time I came back to our house, I asked God for His guidance. In my mind was a question how to become a Christian, a person who is born again with our Lord Almighty. One day, while going to an appointment, I took a cab for easy way to be on my appointment on time, I was busy texting my Christian to help me answer my questions. I was not able to grasp her message easily and couldn't understand the meaning of her message. Little did I know, the driver of the cab was listening to a Christian music. I don't know exactly what the title of the song was, but all I know, it was a Christian song. My heart beats fast, probably the song hit my heart that time. I began wondering what is the meaning of all these things. I began to wonde...

Foods, liquors, family, relatives, and friends – these were my company in welcoming year 2008. A memorable and life – changing experience I wouldn’t forget. I was an alcohol drinker and found it as part of growing up – for fun, bonding with friends, and even for menstrual purposes. I didn’t find myself different from any other girls around for I always bring the connotation that girls do drink also. That was my thinking, I’d rather drink than smoke. But on that very day, in welcoming this year, I find my indifference among others. Getting drunk, real drunk was really painful – literally PAINFUL. I’ve realized how true it was that once you get drunk, put it in your stomach, not in your head because once you put it both, when they collide, you tend to be emotional. And that’s what happened to me. I had the guts to express everything. The pain that I carry for so many years was revealed. My hatred, anger for my family was expressed by my mind full of alcohol. I know I’ve hurt them t...

I never imagined that after a year of our break up, I would still think of him. The scientist in me is always surprised to rediscover this fact: that a person can truly be broken. Our break up was simply a complete and utter destruction of my life. Life can be that way, eventually you have to move on. Life again, compels you. And, after all, I wanted to be happy again. So you pick up what’s left, reinvent what is not and go on. I think the specter of our break up has changed me far more than our relationship. Away from the warm glow of naiveté, the memories of us seem trite. It is true that we only assign meaning to our experiences. Mostly, we had no fear. We talked about ourselves, our dreams, our childhood, and our parents. Each discussion was a wonderful opening, with no fear of what we might discover or lose. Every fact, every feeling shared was a precious thing to be cherished and savored. I know now that our relationship was far from being perfect. I know what he has done...

Why did you come out again from my mind? Again? You still haunt me even up to this very moment. You made me cry again. You brought back those happy memories that we had together with tears of regret. If we fight for our love before, what woudl you think are we in right now? For years I have been learning about life. I thought I know better this time. I thought you'll be my forever hero, protector, handkerchief to wipe off my tears. You were always there to guide me, command me to behave and act like a lady. For years I hold on to this feeling. The kind of affection that was supposed to be thrown away, far from my heart. You keep hurting me until now. Why do we need to end up this way? To allow hatred and anger grow more for you. I hate you! You still allow myself to cry silently in this place. Am i not really capable of loving you? Or do I only love myself? Or maybe I just loved you so much that I forgot how to love myself? You were once my life, my world. For years I let m...

I will not say that he was the object of my first affection, for that would be a lie. I have been feeling passionate about people since I was very, very young, younger probably than most people. But I deny giving those feelings the title of love. I suppose that we all lose our first love, as well, and that is what makes them so sweet. But the truth is, real love is something that one never truly loses, as long as we hold onto the feelings. The emotion is love, in its first, most pure state. We have hope and we have the promise of bright days ahead and your first love is perhaps your most real and most true of all loves. Every single important moment with him, from first kiss, first voicing of tremendous feeling inside, break up, was completely perfect. I ran through every single passionate emotion a human being can possess. In the days that followed the break up, I realized that while it hurts incredibly, I have to lose him, I had gained him as a friend, and that was more important...

are all travelers who ought to go a long journey before us.though each one of us started this journey at a different time some are walking lightly, some are walking even one step very heavily nobody knows when this journey ends,but everyone knows that there is an end. because the way we are walking on is lonely and tough, we are all seeking for a partner to walk together. we think if there's somebody to love me and to be with me, this journey won't be a problemthat only with enough expenditure, this long journey won't be so tough that provided many people acknowledge me,i might even enjoy this journey but we are missing that it is impossible for anyone to walk together with us till the end nobody can lead us from the end of this journey into a new one. except him only...there are several people who are carrying a ladder to cross into a new roadsometimes they feel pressured by the ladder but knowing the value of it, they walk with gladness many are walking without knowing ...