April FULL's Day

Looking for a job is not always an easy thing to do. First thing that you must possess is the determination to get in a company you want to apply for. You also feel different feeling while applying for a job. Some are nervous, some are confident and excited, and sometimes others just quit when not getting what they want. I'm one of those who were confident and nervous.

April one, first day of the fourth month. It was a nerve-wracking day for me. I don't know what to expect, what lies ahead of me as I applied for a job. I must not expect something, for they say, expect the unexpected.

I had my daily devotion and daily quiet time with the Lord. I prayed for that day, for my safe travel, for my agenda for the day. I really don't know what to expect, as I lay everything to God, He's in control of me. I just have the encouragement and prayers from some friends who

believed in my capability as a person.

To my surprised, I saw a person that I must not see on that day. The person whom I treasured yet I think I couldn't bring back the good times we had together. But circumstances are tricky. Nothing changed, the pain, anger and pain which I saw and feel. But I cannot blame that person, I must face the consequence because I know whose with me that time.

We've talked and I clear some unsettle things to that person. I hold on to God's hands and asked for the strength. I just can hear Him telling me to go ahead and do what I must do. Whatever happened, it happened already.

I saw how that person hates me. I stood still and continue to confess everything that I know. Not trying to get a sympathy, I just want to tell what that person needs to know.

There might be no chance for us to be reconciled but I did what I must do as part of repenting from my sins. In my heart there was God telling me that its okay if that person cannot forgive me, for God has already forgave me.

I saw and feel the pain. The anger, the hatred. That person even hit me physically with no alarm. I wont fight back, I can't. My body is already immune with pain. For that person, it was not over. But for me, I've done my part. Through some consultations from other who know me better, I already did my part.I know that person might not forgive me at all. But I do not lose hope. I wont throw hurtful words or take revenge physically, instead, I will pray for that person because I love that person. It was really a big mistake that I caused that person the kind of pain. But if that really never happens, I'll be thankful because I know God has forgiven me already and that's what matters the most.

I looked straight to that person's eyes all through out our conversation. I feel relieved and became true unlike the last we've talked. That time when I was still in denial. But now I believed that the truth shall set you free, and I set myself free from those lies anymore.

I'm free, I'm forgiven

I sincerely apologized to that person. No pressure, no fear, not a single lie came from my mouth for I know I speak to that person from my heart.

Just trust to the Lord, lay everything to Him, and He will never fail you. Telling the truth was the exchange of our friendship, our relationship but I know, that what I did that time was acceptable to Him. (Romans 12:1)